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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Gabi's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, December 21st, 2003
11:34 pm
okay, so yeah. I changed my screen name from this piece of shit to somnianostra (which is also my AIM sreen name, only it's Somnia Nostra, with a space.) so don't freak out when you seem my name on your friend of list. so yeah. word.

7:00 pm
Oh.my.jesus. I went to The Bombay House last night for an Indian party. Oh, god. It was wonderful. But they didn't play Indian music, which was slightly disappointing. Nonetheless, I had a great time shakin' my ass to rap and techno music. (But Angel's Ass is so much bigger than mine. so big it deserves a capital letter. Ass.) Heh. It was great. And there were pretty Indian-boys there, one of whom Ashlee danced with.

Today, I read some more of The Foutianhead. Oh boy. The plot is thickening. Otherwise, I just lazied around, doin' nothing. That's about all.

I have the sudden urge to jump up and shout, "Well, I'll be damned." In homage to my Pawpaw. He's wonderful and we're going to go see him the weekend after Chri'ma'. So, things will be all good and relaxing. We'll play cards and four-wheel, and I'll pretend like I'm not enjoying bein' a countra boy. Heh. Yeah. I love my granddad.

Saturday, December 20th, 2003
3:12 pm
Blahauiauaga. <-- Profound.

So, I'm bored.

I went to go see LOTR last night with the family, and "Tha Posse" was there. God, I don't know why, but I'm so jelous of them. They're just so interesting. Uh. yeah. And I wanted to sit with them, but I felt awkward, so I didn't. But! I did talk with them for a while. The movie was great otherwise. Except for it could've ended an hour before it did.

And we threw a going away partay for Mrs. B. I teared up. god, I love her. I shall forever miss that wonderful woman. heh. alliteration.

Let's dance. please.

OUT OF FUCKING SCHOOL! I don't have to worry about school work for now. And I'm just going to put all other worries behind me for now. I do have to worry about Christmas gifts, though.

So, things. Bye.

Current Mood: giddy
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003
4:08 pm

Robbie AKA Question Mark

YAAAAY you are my favorite character, Robbie,
the question mark, i love this character
because he always, always is knee deep in a new
and interesting debate. if you are like Robbie,
then you love questioning things, pushing
limits...you love seeing how much you can get
away with. You will not hold back your opinion.
You hate losing, and when you get mad you sigh
and flare your nostrils lol. When you like
someone, you will risk a lot for them, but
usually it ends up that they never deserved you
anyway. You steal the spotlight sometimes, so
watch that, other people have things to say

What character from Radio Free Roscoe are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh, hell yeah.

Sunday, November 30th, 2003
11:41 pm
Right now, I have this home-teeth-whitening kit shit in my mouth and it's vile. I hope I don't have this dentist taste in my mouth all goddam night.

Well, this was an interesting Thanksgiving break.

Tuesday, I went to a party at Clavert's house, which was fucking awesome. and her new boyfriend was nice and from norway . . . I think.

Wednesday = cleaning.

Thursday was thanksgiving with the whole fucking family ovah again. Not pleasant. minus grandma, because she's always pleasant. I love her. And then that night, Alan and I went to go see Timeline, which was awesome. Then, on our way home, we decided to steel the Woodland sign. That was fucking fun for some reason. I was the one who actually stole it, because alan had to stay in the car (he's the driver, yo). Then I just slept.

Friday, aunt, uncle and two cousins came ovah. That was pretty fun. we played sharades (is that how you spell it?) and things.

Saturday = laziness and more sharades.

Sunday = Nikki's house. That was fun. I enjoy being at her house. I feel very free ovah there. I can just be. Very laid back. And! yeah. there's no and. But it was fun nonetheless.

Now, which is still Sunday, yeah. I'm just chillin'. Alan's in the shower now, so I stole the computer for a minute so fun!

Well, my mouth still tastes like the dentist.

Hopefully, I will have a great day tomorrow. I've been really grumpy and short with people lately. I feel bad, but now I think I'm better and in a good mood. It was probably the break that did it. sigh. oh yeah.

Current Mood: ehn. I'm okay.
Thursday, November 27th, 2003
10:34 am
Happy Thanksgiving. That's all I have to say. Oh, and all I shall do this weekend is sleep and read. drooooooool.
Monday, November 17th, 2003
11:22 pm
you know, I have the weirdest mood swings. I JUST became slightly depressed, slightly dissapointed. I don't know why. hmm. I want something to do like a project or something. maybe travel. hmm. I'd like to go to Java Cabana right now. sigh.
11:10 pm
I just finished The Old Man and the Sea, and, you know, it wasn't half bad. I really enjoyed the Jesus allusions. I always love Jesus allusions even though I'm not Christian. So, yes. Now I have to figure out the symbols in that book (sparknotes, yo). So, yes. It was better than I thought it was going to be. I actually taste fish, which I haven't actually tasted in over a year, after reading that book. It was cool.

I'm about to watch the best show ever: Radio Free Roscoe.

So, chemistry. I kind of enjoy this chapter. It's fun after you learn what's going on.

I really have nothing to say.

I want to make everything happy again. Like it used to be. And that's all the angst for this entry. so yeah. and it was vague. wooo!

I really want to go out and just have fun this weekend. I think Mr. Mann and I might be doing something depending on if he calls me this goddam time.

So. that's it.

Current Mood: ehn. slightly tired.
Monday, November 10th, 2003
10:02 pm

Which 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I just had to add this in here, because I want to marry Charlie. sih. He's perfect.
Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
8:52 pm
Yay! I just got Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead for extra credit/ scholarship thing. I've heard a lot about it, so i think it's going to be a wonderful book and all.

FREETHINKERS tomorrow! woo!. And, and Sarah's coming, so there's going to be some explaining to her about "certian things" *cough* seeing as how it's going to be a "gay day" where we discuss gay issues and things.

And chemistry isn't as stressful because the test has been moved back until Friday. pfft. praise Mr. I-Don't-Teach-Vick for that one.

and things.

You know, even my sister seems to think that I shouldn't have told dad that I'm gay. And she's bisexual. guh. I just want to be open. Why should I limit myself for someone who doesn't even accept me.

Today, I told my dad I was lending my pinstripped pants to Victoria and he said "You know, guys usually lend clothes to people." Then he went on this sexist rant about what guys should and shouldn't do. guh. I wanted to say, "Are you saying that I'm GAY?!" and then move on. but silly me isn't brave enough. Pfft. Anyways.

Current Mood: ehn.
Friday, October 31st, 2003
5:45 pm
Megan, you'd be sooooo proud. I am currently . . . bum, bum, bum . . . .

DAVID BOWIE! (as aladin sane, of course).

Hallowe'en. and thangs are goin' great.

Pfft! I want some trick-or-treeters. I want to scare them with my flamboyancy. haha. like floating. bouyancy.
Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
5:34 pm
Yay for Today
Yay for Freethinkers! It just gets better and better every damn time. Today.was.perfect. minus that one girl with the not-well-thought-out comments Ahhh. Soietal Apathy, Iragi war, and Censorship. BUhahahahahaha! And I loved hearing people's opinions. BUT! LaurEN, Nikki, LaurA, That-Chris-Kid, and Shawn didn't talk enough. Damnit! Voice your opinions. I want Sarah to come next time because she's ultra conservative Christian. She once told me I was going to hell. SO, Will, if you read this, tell your sister to come, and get your own ass ovah there too. I want more opinions. It's ALWAYS fun. AND! Next meeting we're going to have a "gay day" Alan decided. So, I'll haave to say stuff there. and I GUESS I'll make it known to everyone that I;m GAY. so. things. JT will deffinately speak out though. Haha! speak OUT.

Yay for learner's permit! Guh! Second one in line at the DMV and I passed by missing 6, so I just barely made it. BUt I got it nontheless. I was in the Bells Factory OUtlet Mall practicing and I hit the gas instead of the breack. Scared the shit out of me. I'm sure it did to my dad also.

Yay for better chemistry and geometry grades.

Yay for friends and things.

And just yay all around. Today is a good day. I like it.

Although Mrs. G. is beginning to get on my nerves in creative writing. She's being a blunt, pushy bitch. She needs to calm down just a bit.

That's all I really have to say.

I think I'm going to El Porton it up tonight. so yay for that too.

PS: yay for the amout of people in the GSA now. I feel more confident about the pending lawsuit now. I hope we don't have to doo it.

Peace out.

Current Mood: pfft. happy.
Monday, October 20th, 2003
6:48 pm
Hmm. I should be doing my poem for creative writing class, but I cannot think of anything to write about, so I'm just going to do this test thingy nikki sent me (I also saw it on lauren's journal once).

[x.] name= Gabi/jojo
[x.] birthday = 4-11-88
[x.] piercings =none (sigh)
[x.] tattoos =not yet
[x.] height =I think 5 9 or something
[x.] shoe size =81/2 -9
[x.] hair color =red
[x.] length =roman soldier haircut
[x.] siblings =2
[x.] pets =bear, kittie, lily, and tommy the cat (muhahaha . . . primus)

[x.] movie you rented=requiem for a dream
[x.] movie you bought =uh . . .
[x.] song you listened to=Team Dresch "I'm Illgal"
[x.] song that was stuck in your head ="Billy Jean" or however you spell it.
[x.] thing you've downloaded =guh, no more.
[x.] cd you bought =blank-wave arcade by the faint, I think
[x.] cd you listened to =actual cd . . . uh. bowie's ziggy stardust
[x.] person you've called =either amy or JT
[x.] person that's called you =grams
[x.] tv show you've watched =HAHAHA! Radio Free Roscoe. best show ever.
[x.] person you were thinking of =sigh. uh. him.

[x.] you have a bf or gf =no.
[x.] you have a crush on someone =indeed
[x.] you wish you could live somewhere else =all the goddam time. I want to live in New York, or Chicago or LA or something. I just want a big city so I'll never be alone again.
[x.] you think about suicide =sometimes
[x.] you believe in online dating =no
[x.] you want more piercings =veery much so
[x.] you drink =nope
[x.] you do drugs =I'd like to one day just casually smoke pot and maybe do acid once or twice.
[x.] you smoke =I'd like to try cloves. they smell like heaven.
[x.] you like cleaning =yeah
[x.] you write in cursive or print =print
[x.] you carry a donor card =no

For or Against..
[x.] teenage smoking =against, really. but I want to try it someday, so I cannot be hypocritical.
[x.] doing drugs =not addiction
[x.] premarital sex = for, I guess. but deffiately not against
[x.] driving drunk =for but not INXS (muhahahah. in excess. ha!)
[x.] soap operas =completely against the whole TV thing, although I do watch it occasionally when I have NOTHING to do. But I do sometimes watch movies.
[x.] tv show =I guess RFR
[x.] thing in the world =books
[x.] thing to collect =books/CD's
[x.] colors of all time =black, grey, red, and purple
[x.] thing to do on a rainy day =dance and sleep
[x.] feeling in the world =not really happiness. Acceptance, I guess.

Have You...
[x.] ever cried over a boy/girl =all the fucking time
[x.] ever lied to someone =too much
[x.] ever been in a fist fight =never

[x.] perfume do you use =tommy
[x.] shoes do you wear =converse
[x.] are you scared of =the dark, which really means I'm scared of what I cannot see and being alone. but really being ALONE is the thing I hate.

[x.] of continents I have lived in?:1
[x.] of drugs taken illegally? 0
[x.] of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends?: I don't know.
[x.] of people I consider my enemies?:i don't know
[x.] of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?:never
[x.] of scars on my body?:two or three

Have You Ever...
[x.] Fallen for your best friend? no.
[x.] Made out with JUST a friend?no
[x.] Been in love? maybe
[x.] Cheated on someone? never

Who Was The Last Person...
[x.] You touched? maybe sarah?
[x.] You talked to? megan
[x.] You hugged? nikki

Have You/Are You/Do You....
[x.] Considered a life of crime?no
[x.] Considered being a hooker?hell no
[x.] Considered being a pimp? hell no
[x.] Are you psycho? yes
[x.] Split personalities? mood swings, yes
[x.] Schizophrenic? only when sad
[x.] Obsessive compulsive? yeah
[x.] Panic? a lot
[x.] Anxiety? oh my god. do I have to answer this one?
[x.] Depressed? (see above)
[x.] Obsessed with hate? never!
[x.] Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? in a way
[x.] Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? all the time

Are You...
[x.] Understanding: very
[x.] Open-minded: always
[x.] Interesting: I hope so
[x.] Hungry: always
[x.] Friendly: people tell me so
[x.] Childish: playful, yes, but I think I'm mature
[x.] Healthy: not exactly
[x.] Difficult: YES!
[x.] Thirsty: yeah. I want milk
[x.] Responsible:yeah
[x.] Sad:yes
[x.] Happy: sometimes
[x.] Trusting:sometimes
[x.] Talkative:only when I like a sunject
[x.] Lonely:all the time, even when I'm with people it's weird.
[x.] Own a webcam?no
[x.] Ever get off the damn computer? yeah.

[x.] Current Clothes:creative writing shirt, jeans, no shoes.
[x.] Current Mood: stressed
[x.] Current Taste:left over pizza
[x.] Current Hair:normal
[x.] Current Annoyance: this damn house, and city, and my DAMN poem
[x.] Current Smell:cigarettes
[x.] Current thing you ought to be doing:writing a poem
[x.] Current Book:"the secret life of laszlo, count dracula" by roderick anscombe
[x.] Current DVD In Player:nothing
[x.] Current Refreshment:none
[x.] Current Worry:many things: nikki, governor's school, ranking, grades, school work, poem, dad, and various things
[x.] Current Crush: I don't want to say here, yo.

On Dating....
[x.] Long or short hair?no matter
[x.] Dark or blond hair?dark
[x.] Tall or short?tall
[x.] Mr. Sensitive or Mr. Funny?both
[x.] Good boy or bad boy?both
[x.] Dark or light eyes?light
[x.] Pierced or no?pierced indeed!

On Preferences....
[x.] Chocolate milk or hot chocolate?milk
[x.] McDonalds or Burger King?neither (veggie)
[x.] Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend?both
[x.] Sweet or sour?sweet
[x.] Root Beer or Dr. Pepper?neither
[x.] Sappy/action/comedy/horror? sappy
[x.] Cats or dogs? little dogs
[x.] Ocean or Pool? ocean
[x.] Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese?nacho cheese
[x.] Mud or Jell-O wrestling?mud
[x.] With or without ice-cubes?with
[x.] Shine or rain?rain
[x.] Winter/Summer/Fall/Spring?fall
[x.] Vanilla or Chocolate?choc
[x.] Gloves or mittens?gloves
[x.] Eyes open or closed?mmm...sleeps
[x.] Fly or breathe under water? FLY!
[x.] Bunk-bed or waterbed?bunk
[x.] Chewing gum or hard candy?candy
[x.] Motor boat or sailboat?motor boat
[x.] Lights on or off? in my room at night, completely off. but if you mean sexually, on.

Current Mood: uncreative
Friday, October 17th, 2003
10:33 pm
you know, I'm just sick of this emotional rolercoaster. As much as I told people I'm okay now about telling my dad, it's not true. I am heartbroken. I just cannot look him in the eyes anymore.

and it all goes downhill from there.

I want in Governor's School, I want a fucking boyfriend, I want better grades, I want to be ON THE FUCKING ROAD, I want to be independant, I want, I want. GUH. I want the GSA to work without a lawsuit.

I'm just being selfish. But! I never am, so I think I have a right to this one time. I just want what I want and I'm sick of just being here and taking all the shit I do.


Current Mood: crushed
Tuesday, October 14th, 2003
10:35 pm
I thought it was time to write another entry. But what ever shall I write about?

Hmm. I'm supposed to be going to Java Cabana Thursday night with a certain someone. HMMMM indeed. I think that shall be interesting. I really want it to work out, but I wish I could read minds so I could figure out what he really thinks about me. I just don't want to mess things up on my one, first chance. "guh" is all I have to say.

BLAHAHAHA. I pity-partayed it up on Sunday with Ms. Nikki and Ms. Laura. THAT was fun. We watched Requiem for a Dream and discussed our feelings, yo. It was sooooo girlie, and I loved it! Muhahahah

Of course, as you know, Meg and Stephsteph are coming ovah this weekend. PARTAY TIME. Whohoa! oh yeah. But there will be NO Rob-Megan sex in my bed this time, goddamn it. That's right. NONE!

"It's on my wall; it's in my head. memorize it till I'm dead." God. Sleater-Kinney rox my ill-fitting sox. (muhahaha. Look how emo I am with the x's.)

SOOOO. It's 10:41 and I cannot sleep. I guess it's because I usually don't sleep this early even on school nights. Guh. But I want to tonight! But you know, god hats fags, so there's no heavenly sleep for me this night. Of course!

So, I'm going to tell my father that I'm gay tomorrow. AHHHHHHHH. I've planned to do it after dinner. Where I will do it is still unknown. Possibly in my room. No. I don't know. I DO know that he will blow up though. He's going to say I'm too young and that I can't decide this for myself AND that I think I'm gay "just for the novelty of it." I had a converstation one day with him about gayness. Oh, I wanted to cry. I think I did later that night in my bed-closet. I wish he could just understand; I wish everyone could just understand. I'm going to do it Wednesday night so that my friends can comfort me Thursday when we go back to school. Maybe Java Cabana will help also. Or maybe it'll make it worse. I hope the former. I'm just a pessimist.

yes, indeed.

Current Mood: slightly crestfallen
Saturday, October 11th, 2003
3:22 pm
I need ideas for entries in my creative writing class notebook. Quick! everyone now! Give me ideas for my notebook. Just random shiznit. Topics to discuss, describe things, funny sayings or quotes, etc. I'm bored and I want to write. WHOA.
Sunday, October 5th, 2003
6:56 pm
I just have to say that I haven't written in this journal--let alone my paper journal-- in so long. Hmm. I really should record my life.
Well, school's not so bad anymore. Chemistry's hard, but I can lick it. I am actually slightly enjoying the challenge of managing four honors classes, two math-based and two language based. I love my two creative classes also; my writing skills are progressively improving with creative writing class, and my art skills are all the better.
Yes. My life is good for now. I'm just havin' fun.
ALTHOUGH! I want to aply for this thing called Governer's School, which is an enrichment (damnit, I know I cannot spell) course/camp thing. But I don't think I'm good enough. The GPA says "No," but we shall see! I need more afterschool stuff. Like clubs and communitty service and things. Hmm. I'm tryng, Governer's School, I'm trying.

Yes And that's my life.
Friday, September 5th, 2003
3:18 pm
Yeah. I so stole this from Megan, who stole it from someone, who stole it from someone, etc.

Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
1) procrastinating
2) Doing Chemistry. DAMN MR. VICK.
3) being generally lazy
4) crying for no reason.

Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
1) MANY BOOKS (Steal this Book, Anarchism and Other Essays, On The Road, Naked Lunch, anything Hemmingway . . .)
2) The knowledge to do chemisty. muthafucka.
3) money for both Alan and me to go to a really good out of state college
4) confidence

Name Four People You Know Best:
1) megan
2) Alan
3) Sarah
3) Rob

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
1) drag. well, maybe for fun
2) (in puplic) that pink feather hat. You know the one.
3) a fleetwood mac shirt. Damn I hate them.
4) Nike . . . child labor.

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
1) Chemistry
2) On the Road by Mr. Kerouac
3) Alan's birthday, which is tomorrow.
4) uhh . . . him.

Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
1) Almost cried in chemistry, because I got a 48 on my damn test. muthafucka
2) read poems! Oh yeah. creative writing class rocks my ill fitting socks.
3) Listened to the Beatles
4) Thought about him.

Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
1) The Faint- Blank-Wave Arcade
2) I bought a smoothie from that hot guy at Otherlands.
3) Alan's birthday present, Xenoside by Orson Scott Card
4) lunch

Name Five Bands/Groups Most People Don't Know You Like:
1) John Mayer
2) Porcupine Tree (now that Mr. Shawn gave me the CD)
3) Manfred Mann
4) Lou Reed/ Velvet Underground
5) really anything my dad likes.

Name Five Drinks You Regularly Drink:
1) chocolate milk
2) Tea
3) milk
4) coffee
5) mountain dew

I'm pleased with it.
Sunday, August 31st, 2003
9:44 pm
Uneventful Vacation
HAHA! Commander Venus referense! Shit yeah.
Uh, yes. This really is a boring weekend.
I food-not-bombed it up yesterday. We fed a lot of people then. It was good. and when we were going back to the head quarters I saw will and adam going to a record store. fun. ehn. Then dish-cleaning. Then boring old home. Well. Actually it wasn't boring, because my parents and my brother and I played spades. That was fun. And then Rob came over and there was Rules of Attraction watching. Then some video on body art, which was good.
Uh. Today . . . nothing. being lazy. I went to Benihanna's though for my cousin's going away party to the marines or some shit. I hope he doesn't die. I hope no one has to in war.

I still have a day. If it ends up being eventful, I hope it's in a good way.
Saturday, August 30th, 2003
1:11 am
You know what? Yeah, I really don't know either.

School and life in general is become overall stressful. GSA, him, her, dad, granddaddy, CHEMISTRY, just anything.

I don't know what's happening or what will happen, but I think I'll stay on this road until I see a good turnoff. A sordid one. Or maybe an overly clean one. One of the extremes, I don't know.

Hmm. I want it to all be just presented in front of me, because I'm a lazy bastard.

I don't know if I can sleep now. I think I'm too scared. no, that's not the right word. I don't know.

Current Mood: blah.
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